My Biggest Self-Discovery has been...

that I am opinionated.

I never thought that I was. And for some who know me, it's strange to them if I ever confess that because I appear to be a very sure and secure individual. But I have a hard time embracing sides, simply because I loathe contention in any form. So I choose to sway away from developing opinions in politics, world news, or even my own interests. 

But sometimes, that debilitates me and causes me to be shy and seek approval or validation for the decisions I make, even so far as my hobbies.

So claiming an opinion on something and striving to work toward it has been empowering. It has shown me that I really do care about people, I really do care about their well-being, and about making the world a better place to live. I'm not comfortable just living here without providing help in any way I can. And sometimes it's overwhelming because when I see a situation now, I have to help out. I want to help out. And it seems like a heavy task; as though saving the world is my job and my job only. But I'm also learning that on top of voicing and developing opinions, I should share them with others so we can help each other in our processes to take a stand.

So Kathy,

I'm a republican based solely on the idea that my beliefs overlap more fully with the infamously-conservative party, but I think political parties in general are stupid and exclusive. Overall, I think presidential debates are the biggest waste of time, and a weird, glamorized celebrity roast.

There. A brief view of my political examinations. ;)

Pleasantly Surprised

When I signed up for this course, in all honesty, it was an act of desperation. I had just dropped out of Microeconomics, which I desperately didn't want to take, and was below the full time student line, which would cause me to lose financial aid. In a panic, I wound up ranting to Dane about my fear and frustration. He encouraged me to take this class; not because he felt like it was easy, but because he said it really helped him align his passions with his actions.

And I completely understand.

I was feeling so immobilized by a sense of fear that I would never figure out what I want to do with my life. And this course didn't cure that completely. But  it did help me recognize that nobody is really set on doing one things for the rest of their lives. But it's all about picking a problem and devoting yourself to fixing it. That's how successful people get stuff DONE: they decide they're going to do something, and then they do it. It doesn't mean they wouldn't be good at a myriad of different things, it means right now, they're just focusing on one.

Above all, I learned how to be proactive. People admire proactivity. If you confidently approach the people you'd like to help you, they flock, they're eager to help, because they want to assist you in your passion.

So, yes. I was pleasantly surprised. Because I was surrounded by passionate-in-at-least-one-area students and a passionate-in-every-way teacher, and together, we developed how we could individually change our mini-sphere of the world to make it better. And that is the most beautiful course curriculum I could have ever imagined.

Sometimes I need help with....

Getting motivated. Sometimes I tell myself that I can't do things, or that I don't have the skills, and it takes getting a pep talk from somebody who knows what they're talking about. I suppose that's the benefit of having a mentor; somebody who has been in your shoes who can tell you about the process and inspire you.

I struggle with that. I also need help enlisting people in my projects. I want them to be mine. Not because I don't trust other people, or because I want the credit, but usually because I'm not confident enough in my own ideas to share them with other people. Or I'm afraid that their contructive criticism or feedback will knock me down and feel like I'm not doing a good enough job. Or I am just too timid to ask for help because I don't want to inconvenience anyone. I guess it's a severe confidence problem. One that I'm working on. I feel like entrepreneurs are self-starters. I try to be, but it's exhausting.

I guess this is also the advantage of having a purpose or a problem to solve behind your idea. It is self-imposed motivation. I should strengthen my "because" in my impact statement. Maybe doing so will decrease my fear and strengthen my motivation.

CTAAAAAAAAHHHH

I would define my Personal Call to Action as the, "get your toosh into gear" goals. Which I'm actually heavily involved in, believe it or not. I scoured my mom's storage unit and found her sewing machine. Do I sew? Heck no, techno. But I'm learning for the sake of this company, by George! So I've taught myself how to sew a simple line. Enough to hem things. I fixed the hems of all of my skirts and dresses, and even took a few of my favorite oversized, underpriced thrift store finds. So that was step one, aside from all the other steps that I've taken, like calling manufacturers, drawing designs, and brainstorming patterns.

So here are the things I'm putting off. Here's my personal call to action:

-PICK OUT FABRIC. Order swatches, go to a fabric store, just get your hands on something.
-Order a small amount, just enough to have a prototype made.
-Have a prototype made. I already know who I want to have make it. I should probably just ask her, she's a good friend of mine.

I don't know if I've mentioned this, I'm sure I have, but part of my procrastination to fully implement this was because I'm broke, broke, broke. Dane had the idea of starting small, with pins and hats, just to start building funds, and I told him we could work on that together. So we've been dually designing pins and hats and trying to find manufacturers for that as well.

So that's that. Mrs. Kathy, I hereby vow to pick up progress on findings fabrics! That's my next step, and I'll do it this week.

Challenge accepted!

Entrepreneurship Empowers...

Since starting this blog, I've changed quite a bit. I wouldn't be surprised if the majority of it has been what this blog has made me do: self reflect. I SUCK at self-reflection. I'm the type of person to think about something for maybe 7 seconds, tops, then I move on to something else. I set goals, but I'm way too kind to myself about not reaching my goals, and then I move on.

Changing my mindset a bit has cured that. I feel more opinionated. I feel more self and externally validated to embark on new adventures without fear of failure. I feel like my ideas are GOOD, and like I can do things or start things that could actually change somebody or help somebody or even just slightly please somebody. Even if that somebody is myself.

And it has made me more fearless.

It has made me more proactive! Actually thinking of an idea and formulating a plan to achieve it. Then, not giving up when things get turned around or go south, but actually trying to salvage what you've started. Entrepreneurs persevere. Hard.

And I don't know what type of Hell fire has broken itself into my life to make me the most busy, stressed, heavily-tasked person on the planet this semester, but I still find time to make this project an important priority in my life. Even though I'm not very punctual, apparently, and incredibly sporadic, my process is unfolding perfectly.

I feel like I have reason to contribute to the world.